How Benevolent Sexism Helped Parents Cope with COVID-19 Lockdown Stress

Hey there fellow mommies! Today, we’re diving into a topic that’s sparked plenty of debate but has an interesting twist: How benevolent sexism played a role in helping parents manage stress during those never-ending COVID-19 lockdowns. If you’re like me, just hearing the words “lockdown stress” probably sends a little shiver down your spine. So, let’s unpack this curious concept together.

Benevolent Sexism: What on Earth Is That?

First off, we need to understand what benevolent sexism actually means. It sounds kind of contradictory, doesn’t it? We all know sexism is bad. But, benevolent sexism involves well-intentioned, albeit still outdated, beliefs that portray women as needing protection or special treatment. Think of those times your husband says, “You shouldn’t be lifting that heavy box, honey,” or insists on fixing something even when you’re perfectly capable.

Now, I’m not here to say anyone should be okay with sexism, benevolent or otherwise. But in the unique situation of being locked down and cooped up with our families 24/7, things got really interesting. Apparently, this type of “benevolent” attitude actually served as a buffer against the anxiety and pressures that weighed us moms down.

Why Did COVID-19 Make Parenting So Stressful?

Remember those relentless days? Overnight, we became full-time homeschool teachers, chefs, caregivers, and entertainers all at once. With three young kids constantly needing attention, my sanity felt paper-thin. The pressure was intense, and many of us moms found ourselves swimming in a sea of never-ending responsibilities.

Here’s a fun trip down memory lane:

Setting up and trouble-shooting Zoom classes (who else dealt with constant “Mom, it’s not working!”?)
Breaking up sibling fights every five minutes
Trying to cook and serve three meals daily while also maintaining some semblance of a clean home
Juggling remote work (for those of us lucky enough to work from home)

How Did Benevolent Sexism Come Into Play?

According to a study reported on PsyPost, benevolent sexism actually provided a cushion for some parents. How? When dads took on the role of the “protector” and the “provider,” it somewhat redistributed the load of household and parenting duties, often lighting the stress burden.

Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean moms kicked back with their feet up (honestly, who had time for that?). But these protective tendencies helped in specific ways:

**More Active Co-Parenting:** The acknowledgment that moms needed a break led some dads to actively share the parenting duties.
**Validation:** Hearing, “You’re doing an amazing job, and I’m here to help” provided emotional upliftment.
**Defined Roles:** It became clearer who was responsible for which tasks, making daily routines slightly less chaotic.

Balancing Acts

Of course, this wasn’t a universal experience. In many households, moms still shouldered the lion’s share. However, in those homes where benevolent sexism subtly slid into play, it functioned almost like a coping mechanism. When dads felt a duty to “protect” their stressed-out partners, they pitched in more visibly.

Remember when the endless piles of laundry and dishes seemed insurmountable? Feeling your partner start the washing machine or dry the dishes might have felt like a small heaven-sent relief. In our case, my husband doubling up as the “protector” meant less multitasking for me, and I saw a small glimmer of light in this topsy-turvy time.

Is Benevolent Sexism a Long-Term Solution?

Here’s where it gets complicated. While benevolent sexism might have temporarily eased stress, it’s vital to address this dynamic in the long run. Falling back on traditional roles and stereotypes isn’t a sustainable solution. It’s a Band-Aid, not a cure.

We must aim for genuine equality, where parenting and household duties are balanced because both partners equally value sharing responsibilities, not because one feels a protective sense of duty over the other. **Having heart-to-heart conversations with our partners** about workload and stress can transform and eliminate these undervalued traditional roles.

Steps For a Stress-Free Household

When parenting gets overwhelming, aiming for a balanced partnership built on mutual respect is key. Here are some steps I found immensely helpful:

**Open Communication:** Talk openly about emotions, stress points, and what each partner needs.
**Set Realistic Goals:** Ever heard the phrase “Rome wasn’t built in a day?” The same goes for a perfectly balanced household.
**Divide and Conquer:** Actively discuss and establish who manages which duties, so no one’s swamped.
**Self-Care Time:** Both partners need downtime—schedule it right alongside household tasks.
**Appreciate Each Other:** Acknowledge and appreciate each other’s contributions; it goes a long way.

Takeaway

The COVID-19 lockdown made most of us parents feel like we were spinning twenty plates at once. In some unexpected ways, benevolent sexism eased the burden for some of us. But let’s remember that while temporary protections can help, aiming for a partnership built on equality is the end goal.

So here’s to stress-free parenting, balanced homes, and the joyful chaos that comes with raising our amazing kiddos. What do you think, moms? Did benevolent sexism impact your household during the lockdown? Let’s continue this chat in the comments section!

Happy parenting!

Warmly,
Lucy